The phenomenon of concert drunks never ceases to be curious.

Impressionism does drunks: Image provided by Wikimedia

There seems to be no particular type of artist, event or venue immune to it. Maybe some of those folk clubs that serve nothing more potent than cappuccino.

But hit almost any other type of concert, and they are drawn there, like an inebriated moth to a flaming bar. The drunks.

Now, no one minds people having a good time. How people choose to do that is up to them. But “getting super drunk in public” seems a questionable way to go about achieving fun.

Many venues offer a better variety of thinks to get you sloshed these days. It’s not just Bud (regular or Light). Some places offer a better selection of beers (including some in cans), as well as mixed drinks and even wine. Have a drink or two before the show. Fine, no problem.

But actually getting drunk at a concert? It just seems so inefficient. Most concert booze is watered down (especially the beer). It takes a lot more than one or two to get there. And event prices for even a cheap domestic brew can make the costs at trendy bars look reasonable. So you’re spending a lot of money to get loaded. On top of however much you paid for tickets.

But then, you’re so drunk, how are you enjoying the actual show? Isn’t the music the point of a concert? If you can barely stand, what are you getting out of the experience?

“Fool, I will ruin you.”: Image provided by Wikimedia

Or the second your cup is empty, you’re running back to the concession stand. What’s the point? You’re kind of missing the actual concert. Sure, you can probably hear the music while standing in a long beer line, but isn’t the objective to actually SEE the band performing? To be in the same space as the artists and watch them do their thing?

If all you need is the aural experience and drunkenness, you may as well buy a case and stream some free performances at home. It would cost you way less.

And of course there are many potential negative consequences from getting drunk at a concert. If you get too wasted, the nice folks from security are likely to escort you to the exit (if you’re lucky) or a police escort (if you’ve been really stupid).

A bigger worry might be that being drunk makes you think you dance awesomely. When you do not. And now that everyone has a phone with a camera, your drunken concert contortions can live on forever. Everyone can enjoy them online. Many people you don’t know will look and laugh. They’ll spot you on the street some day and start imitating your drunken gyration. No one needs that.

The whole concept of getting drunk at a concert seems odd and pointless. Have one drink at the show, stay in your seat for the performance, hit a bar afterward. Makes perfect sense.

Unless you’re already drunk.

Originally published at on August 24, 2015.

Author (Grievous Angels) and pop culture gadabout #amwriting

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