President Kanye
Kanye West was probably kidding when he announced during his VMA speech that he was running for President in 2020. But the concept of President Kanye cannot be abandoned that easily.
First, would West really want to take a massive pay cut to become President Kanye?
The campaign would be interesting. Not unlike current candidate Donald Trump, it’s not like there’s a trove of deep dark secrets that West is sitting on. Every embarrassing or damaging fact about would-be President Kanye is probably already public record.
West in a debate: “I’m a let you finish, but I’ve gotta say that John Stuart Mill was the dopest writer in the history of political philosophy.”
The first act of President Kanye? Hiring David Guetta to remix “The Star-Spangled Banner.” And getting Rihanna to sing a verse.
The inauguration of President Kanye features a performer list that makes Coachella and Lollapalooza burn with envy.
President Kanye bombs countries that don’t show sufficient gratitude for aid packages that include copies of The College Dropout, bottles of Cristal and body glitter.
The cabinet of the President Kanye administration includes Jay-Z as Secretary of Commerce, Nicki Minaj as Defense Secretary and Kourtney Kardashian in the new position of Secretary of Spandex.
President Kanye insists Drake become an American citizen so that he can be appointed ambassador to Canada.
Foam party in the Lincoln Bedroom!
First Lady Kim Kardashian-West leads other First Ladies through rigorous twerking workouts while President Kanye and other world leaders get down to business.
President Kanye finally heals a divided nation by devising a lasting peace solution for the East Coast/West Coast rap war.
President Kanye’s first State of the Union address lasts approximately 16 days and re-starts frequently while President Kanye gets every word exactly the way he wants it. President Kanye is unable to conceal his frustration that haters don’t appreciate his commitment to perfection.
Camp David redone in plush zebra fabric.
National addresses feature such high production values that they receive Emmy nominations.
President Kanye finally explains the voting process for the Oscars in a way that the electorate can understand. Calls for an investigation into the Best Picture snub of Iron Man.
Under President Kanye, the Department of Commerce offers incentives to businesses pioneering new advances in stretch Hummer limousines, cognac vintnerage and booty shaking technology.
President Kanye puts Sierra Leone on a path to “blood free” diamonds.
The Secret Service detail protecting President Kanye and the First Family receives mandatory new uniforms designed by Armani. Earpieces designed by Tiffany.
Disgusted by partisan infighting, President Kanye balances the Federal budget by writing a check.
All G-8 summits now held in Ibiza.
After eight glittering years, President Kanye retires to a quiet life of overseeing the construction of his Presidential Library. And then re-construction because it didn’t turn out right. And then further renovations because his vision wasn’t realized the first two times.
Hail to the chief!
Originally published at thunderalleybcpcom.ipage.com on September 1, 2015.
